The next time you catch yourself judging someone, turn the moment inward without turning it into self-punishment. Notice the fault, ask where you have shown something similar, and choose a wiser response. This eight-minute guided meditation uses Marcus Aurelius as a prompt for honest reflection and compassion.
Listen while seated or lying down. Do not use this meditation while driving or doing anything that needs your full attention. Let your breath remain comfortable. You can keep your eyes open, and you can stop if the exercise becomes distressing.
This is a modern guided practice, not an ancient Stoic meditation script. It asks you to examine your own conduct. It does not ask you to excuse harm, ignore power differences or remain in an unsafe situation.
Turn the judgement inward
The recording begins from a genuine Marcus Aurelius exercise in Meditations 10.30. When another person's fault offends him, Marcus tells himself to look for a similar error in his own thinking or conduct. The move interrupts self-righteousness. It does not prove that both people have done equal harm.
The wording in the audio is a modern paraphrase. George Long's public-domain translation begins, “When thou art offended at any man's fault, forthwith turn to thyself.” The important action is the turn. Before rehearsing the case against someone else again, ask:
- Have I made a related mistake?
- What value or fear was governing me?
- What correction is mine to make now?
This is close to a Stoic review, but it happens in the charged moment rather than only at night. If you want a regular written version, use these Stoic evening reflection meditations.
Self-reflection is not self-blame. The point is to find your next correction, not to build a second prosecution with yourself as the accused.
Compassion does not remove accountability
The recording says that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have. That can be a useful compassion prompt, but it is not something we can know about every person. People can deceive, exploit, avoid responsibility and choose badly.
A safer version is: I do not know the whole story, and I can respond without pretending the harm was acceptable.
The meditation also draws on the saying in John 8:7 about the person without sin casting the first stone. In this practice, the line is used as a reminder of fallibility, not as a reason to abandon discernment or consequences.
Compassion can change the tone of a response while leaving the boundary intact. You can understand that someone has fears and pressures, then document what happened, say no, leave, report the conduct or protect another person. For a fuller anger practice, see Seneca's Stoic techniques for letting go of anger. For the social side of the practice, read How Stoics Sympathise with Others.
A three-step practice
Use this shorter version when judgement starts looping.
- Name the event. Describe what the person did without adding a diagnosis of their character.
- Look for your own version. Find a related fault, temptation or blind spot. Do not force an equivalence that is not there.
- Choose the next decent response. Correct yourself where needed, then decide what honesty, fairness and safety require with the other person.
If you find no honest parallel, do not invent one. Marcus's question is a tool for humility, not a rule that every accusation must become a confession.
Sources
The historical audio draws on Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 10.30, recorded in The Stoic Codex at Passages/Meditations/Book 10.md, and on John 8:7. The article also uses the Codex's distinction between an involuntary first reaction and the judgement that sustains a passion in Concepts/The Therapy of Anger.md.
Full transcript
Lightly edited for readability.
This transcript records the September 2024 episode. Obvious punctuation and speech-recognition errors have been corrected. The claims have not been silently rewritten. Editorial qualifications appear in square brackets.
Find a comfortable position, either seated or lying down. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. Do the same a few more times, allowing your body to relax with each breath, releasing any tension you may be holding on to.
Bring your attention to the present moment, letting go of any thoughts or distractions from your day. As I speak, focus on the sound of my voice, on any images that naturally arise, while keeping a light, relaxed focus on background sensations.
Today we will focus on a meditation practice inspired by the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, aimed at turning our judgement of others into an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.
To begin, bring to mind a situation where you felt offended or judgemental towards someone else. It might be something recent or a memory that still lingers. Notice the emotions that arise as you recall this situation, perhaps anger, frustration or disappointment. Allow yourself to acknowledge these feelings without judgement.
Now listen to the words of Marcus Aurelius: “When you are offended at any person's fault, immediately turn to yourself and reflect in what manner you yourself have erred.”
[Editorial note: this is a modern paraphrase of Meditations 10.30. It is not the wording of the George Long translation held in The Stoic Codex.]
What this means is that whenever you feel the urge to judge someone else, pause and take a moment to look inward. Ask yourself: Have I ever made a similar mistake? Have I ever been tempted by the same things? Reflect on the times you may have acted in a way that was not aligned with your highest values or best intentions.
Imagine yourself in the situation that led to your judgement. See the person who offended you, and notice how your mind begins to react. As you observe this, gently shift your focus inward. Picture a mirror in front of you, reflecting back your own actions, thoughts and feelings.
As you look into this mirror, ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation? How have I been guilty of similar faults in my own life? Maybe you have judged someone for being careless, but have you ever acted impulsively yourself? Perhaps you have criticised someone for being selfish, but can you recall a time when you put your own needs ahead of others?
Allow these reflections to arise naturally. There is no need to force anything. Just observe whatever comes up with an attitude of openness and honesty.
As you reflect on your own faults, approach them with compassion. Understand that everyone, including yourself, is doing the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at any given moment. Just as you would hope others would forgive your mistakes, extend the same forgiveness to yourself.
[Editorial qualification: treating this as a compassion prompt may be useful, but we cannot know that every person is doing their best. Compassion does not remove accountability or a need for safety.]
Remember the words of Jesus of Nazareth: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast the stone.”
[Editorial note: the line is from John 8:7.]
None of us are without fault, and recognising this can help us be more understanding and less harsh in our judgements of others.
Now extend this compassion outward. Consider the person you initially judged. Recognise that, like you, they are also navigating their own challenges, fears and insecurities. They too are learning and growing. Let go of any lingering resentment or judgement, and replace it with a sense of empathy and understanding.
Marcus Aurelius also teaches us that the faults of others can offer valuable lessons from our own lives. As you continue to reflect, ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation? How can I use this experience to improve myself?
[Editorial note: the lesson-taking language is the recording's modern application of Marcus, not a separate quotation.]
Perhaps witnessing someone's impatience reminds you to practise patience. Maybe seeing someone's dishonesty encourages you to be more truthful in your own life. Every interaction, every judgement, is an opportunity to grow and become a better version of yourself.
As we near the end of this meditation, take a moment to affirm your commitment to personal growth. Silently or aloud, repeat to yourself: I will turn judgement into self-reflection. I will learn from my own faults and the faults of others. I am committed to my own growth and understanding.
Set an intention to carry this practice with you throughout your day. When you feel the urge to judge, pause, reflect inward and seek the lesson within the situation. Let this practice guide you towards greater wisdom, compassion and self-awareness.
Take a few final deep breaths, allowing this reflection to settle into your mind and heart. When you are ready, gently open your eyes, bringing with you a renewed sense of understanding and commitment to your own growth.
And remember, the faults of others are not for you to judge, but for you to learn from, turning each moment into an opportunity for self-improvement.
[Editorial qualification: discernment still matters. Learning from a fault does not prevent you from naming harm, setting a boundary or seeking appropriate accountability.]
Carry this meditation with you, allowing it to transform the way you view others and yourself. By turning judgement into self-reflection, you cultivate a deeper sense of empathy and wisdom, enriching your life and the lives of those around you.
Go deeper
If you want structured practice, the 7-Day Stoic Challenge is free. Nine audio lessons and a 42-page workbook.